As I read that verse from Isaiah, this idea surprised me: If God’s thoughts are not my thoughts, then the thoughts he thinks towards me are not the thoughts I think towards myself. I’ve started paying attention to my own thoughts towards myself. One thing is clear: I’m not kind to me.
An example of some of my thoughts to me today:
-It’s already 8am, you’re wasting the day.
-You’re taking way too long to clean for someone who does this every week.
-You can’t be a writer. Stop pretending.
-Your puppy has more dominance than you. Really, a puppy?
When I see them written out like that, it makes me cry; no one deserves to be talked to this way.
And yet that verse sweetly tells me: His thoughts are not my thoughts. I won’t pretend to know God’s thoughts, but I do know him. And from what I know of him, I’m confident he wouldn’t say that to me. Maybe, he’d say something like this:
-Me: It’s already 8am, you’re wasting the day.
-God: Sweet child, it’s Saturday. Take the dog out and make coffee and then do the next thing after that, at your own pace.
-Me: You’re taking way too long to clean.
-God: Does that matter? I’m with you in the daily mundane, including shower scrubbing and toilet cleaning.
-Me: You can’t be a writer.
-God: I created you to do good works. You’re not in charge of your call, I am.
-Me: Your puppy has more dominance than you.
-God: I see the way your soft heart has trouble dominating over something so precious to you. I created that soft heart, and I love it.
I did feel presumptuous writing down the thoughts of God when really, I don’t know. But I do know this: when I read over them, I cry. My tears tell me they mean something, that my soul finds at least a little bit of truth in those words. I cry because God is so much more gracious to me than I am to myself.
What about your thoughts towards yourself? Do you think God might have something different to say about them? Something kinder, more full of grace?